The second book in the series is Chloe’s Chaos – here’s a little more about it.
Disappointment, Despair, Betrayal
Chloe’s checkered past is coming back to bite her. After years as a people pleaser, easily swayed by strong personalities, she’s looking back at her poor life choices, resulting in what could be the biggest mistake of her life.
Mean girl? Slag? Blob? All accurate labels as she navigates a dating minefield, leaving behind a trail of guys who she'd (unwittingly) turned into monsters. But she learns something from every one - mostly about what she doesn't want in a partner. And how looks can be deceptive - being the spitting image of Stevie Nicks isn't always an advantage.
Then she does something no true friend would ever do, with the potential to hurt people who’d stuck by her through all her troubles, going out of their way to help and support her.
Was there even a shred of honour or decency left inside her?
Just because Tina was no longer her best friend, did that give Chloe the right to kiss her fiancĂ©? Danny was the only one to get a perfect score on her Rate-a-Mate checklist, and the heart must do what the heart must do – apparently.
This cheeky piece of British nostalgia features a Goldilocks choice, some radical transformations, plenty of girl-power, a couple of unlikely heroes and the nastiest of villains. Feel free to boo and hiss.
Saturday, 27 September 2025
Saturday, 20 September 2025
Calamity Chicks 1.3
Meet the Cast
Here are some of the main players in Tina's Torment. Most of them appear in one or more other books in the series.
Chloe describes her as a bold courageous adventurer, who turns into a what the Chartwell nasties would call a spotty, four-eyed swot. Tina describes herself as: “Tall for my age, heavily built with a tendency toward plumpness, a sallow complexion and perpetually untidy dark hair. There were no saving graces. The ugliness of national-health glasses and braces paled into insignificance compared to my contentious nature – a direct consequence of having to fight for every concession.”
She had real body issues. At ten: “Mum’s hairdresser friend chopped all my hair to the same length – ultra-short. So in my shorts and tee-shirt handed down from Simon, and with my height and build, I must have appeared more male than female.”
At 14: “At I was pleased to be wearing a new skirt and a skinny-rib sweater, the effect being quite flattering. I watched his eyes sweep me up and down in the way I’d seen other men stare at pretty girls – the sensation was gratifying.”
Chloe Bell
Chloe was Tina’s best friend all through junior school, but they drifted apart at high school.
Tina says Chloe was a delightful child – petite and feminine with a delicate, rosy-cheeked beauty, topped by golden curls any Miss Pears would have been proud of. Add a winning smile and compliant nature, and it was easy to see why everyone adored her. Of course, this should have made her utterly insufferable, but she never had to struggle to get her own way, so on the odd occasion she couldn’t win, she accepted defeat with grace.
Justin Palmer
Tina’s first crush – turns out handsome is as handsome does.
Here’s her first impression: “The other one was taller still, slim and obviously in charge. The sun raised highlights in his blond hair, giving him the appearance of a young Greek god, and I felt a peculiar sensation inside.”
Drew Masters
Drew - one of the few boys in their class Chloe could tolerate, describing the rest as far too loud, obnoxious or both. He was different in other ways: stylish, with long, floppy hair and an arty scarf which he kept on until one of the teachers demanded he remove it. His mannerisms were similarly flamboyant.
Danny Thomas
The dark haired, stocky one seemed vaguely familiar – maybe I’d seen him at school. Taller than me, with spotty skin, the dark frown made him mean, moody and tough. I couldn’t decide which boy to write to: the strong, cheerful one I’d sailed a boat with; the gentle, caring one who bought me cheesecake; the silent, moody one who took me to the pictures or the angry, reproachful one who brought me back.
Julie Hart
A nasty piece of work who causes problems for both girls.
Tina’s first encounter didn’t go well. I couldn’t help but be aware of the malevolent glares aimed my way from Julie and her cronies. One of the other girls noticed, warning me she was a notorious bully, and not someone to make an enemy of. Julie leapt to her feet, standing toe-to-toe as she tried to tower over me. “How dare you bring your disgusting lezzie filth in here – you should be banned, you should.” Several lines ran through my mind, tempting me to suggest she wasn’t my type, or comment on what kind of statement her bovver boots and butch haircut made.
Linda Randall
When she got to college, she met Lin, a bubbly, confident girl
In amongst the sea of masculine faces, I spotted one lone female, sitting apart like an outcast. I made a bee-line for the empty seat next to her and our relieved smiles spoke of a common bond. An only child, she lived near Norton, a big town forty miles east. I got the impression her family were well off. She was in digs locally, and they bought her a car so she could go home whenever she wanted.
“I wish I’d got your will-power, but I can’t resist the odd cream cake or bar of chocolate. I’ll always be cuddly, but it’s part of my appeal.”
Saturday, 13 September 2025
Calamity Chicks 1.2
Here's a pivotal scene from Tina's Torment which sets up the entire series. Enjoy.
The following summer felt like a huge anti-climax. Pete and Simon spent the first three weeks on a football training scheme. They were too old and far too cool for antics at the den. We rushed down there on the first two days and re-lived old memories, but it wasn’t the same without them. On the third day, I had some errands to run so we arrived late, only to find two unknown boys, a little older than us, treating the place as though they owned it.The dark haired, stocky one seemed vaguely familiar – maybe I’d seen him at school. Taller than me, with spotty skin, the dark frown made him mean, moody and tough. The other one was taller still, slim and obviously in charge. The sun raised highlights in his blond hair, giving him the appearance of a young Greek god, and I felt a peculiar sensation inside.
“Get out of here, this is our den,” he glanced at Chloe, “and no girls allowed.”
“Get out yourselves, we were here first.” My defiance surprised the dark lad as I continued. “Where were you last year, or even yesterday?”
“Well, it’s ours now, so beat it.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
Even before my challenge was out, he’d leapt across the stream knocking me to the ground. We rolled over as I struggled to get up, fending off his punches.
“Leave her alone,” screamed Chloe.
The other lad must have figured it out as he pulled his mate off me with a shout. “Stop it Justin, she’s a girl.”
I’d been trying to land a few blows of my own, but was outraged by Justin’s next words.
“Doesn’t look much like one to me.”
Even through the hurt from his words I could see his point – he wasn’t the first to make that mistake, and it was even more marked than normal. Three weeks earlier, I’d discovered my little sister with a hoard of half-eaten sticky lollies. In my frantic efforts to get them away from her, one got tangled up in my hair, and I’d cut it out in a panic. Mum didn’t throw a fit as I expected, she simply marched me straight down to her hairdresser friend who chopped all my hair to the same length – ultra-short. So in my shorts and tee-shirt handed down from Simon, and with my height and build, I must have appeared more male than female.
The dark-haired boy had a grim expression as he helped me up, but close up, I saw his eyes were kind. Chloe belatedly registered the situation, hugging me theatrically.
“Come here, Danny,” commanded Justin.
He complied with the resignation of one used to obedience. Justin whispered to him for a few minutes, and then planted himself in front of us with an implacable air. “If you want to play here you’ll have to join our gang. But first you must prove yourselves worthy by passing the initiation tests. If you fail any of them you’re out – no second chances. Are you up to it?”
“Of course we are.” My answer was pure reflex. I didn’t stop to consider Chloe, who seemed doubtful.
The next few days were tough as he devised new tasks for us: climbing trees and fences; standing one legged on the iron bridge for five minutes; jumping off the top of the stile – the list seemed endless. Each time he made me do it first, and then gave Chloe an easier option – a smaller tree, shorter time – even glancing away when she was at risk of failing. When I pointed out his injustice, he warned that if I wanted to be in his gang I must learn to take orders.
I wanted so much more than to be in his gang. I wanted him to look at me the way he looked at her – or at least to like me. Lyrics about angels making a dream come true flitted through my head in Karen Carpenter’s velvety voice.
The final test was to leap across the stream. This time Chloe was first, and he chose the narrowest part for her jump, which she managed easily thanks to previous practice. Then he walked down to where it widened out considerably and pointed to a place where the opposite bank was a foot higher. I took one peek and crossed myself, preparing to die.
Chloe protested that no-one could jump there. I blinked back the tears of self-pity which sprang to my eyes.
Justin saw them and taunted, “What’s up cry-baby? It’s easy peasy.” Then, to Danny, “Show her how it’s done.”
Danny jumped across with ease and held out his hands. “Come on, Tina. I’ll catch you if you fall.” Not mean at all.
I saw the scorn in Justin’s eyes as I walked away, but it was merely to get a longer run-up. I took a deep breath, counted down from five to psyche myself up, and started running. As I launched myself off the bank, Chloe screamed, ruining my concentration. My first foot landed safely, but the second hit the edge which began to crumble away. Chloe screamed again and hid her face in Justin’s shoulder, but Danny reacted quickly and grabbed my arm, hauling me up. The momentum was too much and we landed in a heap, gasping for breath.
As we sat up, he touched my arm. “Well done. Knew you could do it.” A rare smile lightened his features.
Justin sniffed. “Told you it was easy.” He walked away.
So we were allowed to join, at first as honorary boys, taking the same identities: explorers; cops and robbers; cowboys and Indians – all the usual boys’ games.
I had to admire Justin’s skill when it came to inventing new situations, making each one more authentic by the props he would provide – guns, swords, hats, even rope and handcuffs. As the days went on, however, Justin devised more and more games where Chloe starred as the heroine; a nurse trapped by the war or a kidnapped film star, and he played the hero who had to fight past Danny and I to rescue her.
Eventually I got fed up with playing a man and being battered around – he didn’t pull his punches. At the end of one particularly rough game, I complained and surprisingly, instead of his usual sarcasm, he agreed.
The next day, Chloe played a princess with me as her maid, he ruled as king with Danny a knight at court. Then they were highwaymen who captured us and tied us to a tree for ransom. Justin became a prince, leading to a spectacular fight before he could get to us. Exactly like in an action film, they leapt from bank to bank, up and down tree stumps and in and around the trees. Neither gave an inch as they fought with all their might – a real grudge match. Finally, Danny tripped on an unseen root and Justin made the most of his victory, crowing like Peter Pan.
Then Danny became his squire and started untying Chloe when Justin stopped him with an imperious raised hand. “Wait – first she has to prove she’s the princess.”
“How?” Danny seemed as surprised as we were.
“She has to give me something.” His tone sounded dark.
“But I haven’t got anything to give you.” Chloe’s expression emphasised her innocent tone.
“Then you’ll have to give me a kiss.”
“No,” I shouted. “Mum said you mustn’t.”
“If you won’t give it to me, I’ll take it.” Justin delivered the line like a hero from a movie as he stepped up boldly and kissed her on the lips. Danny and I watched in a mixture of horror and fascination.
When he released her, his eyes slid over my body. “She’s only the maid. You may kiss her, Squire.” His lip curled as he turned away. “But only if you want to.”
This must have presented Danny with an awful dilemma. From what I’d seen of him so far, kissing any girl would be the last thing he wanted to do, but he seemed sufficiently sensitive to realise I would have been insulted if he declined.
I closed my eyes and received his peck on the cheek with fists clenched against the humiliation of Justin’s stage whisper. “Ugh, it’s like two boys kissing.”
That night, I cried myself to sleep, dreaming of being a slim, beautiful princess rescued by a prince. It wasn’t Justin, but a strong, handsome Danny who bent to kiss me.
Saturday, 6 September 2025
Calamity Chicks 1.1
Some of the books in this series are billed as fairytale, but the entire series is a Cinderella story, because it never got the send off it deserved, overtaken as it was by the Time Doctors.
Calamity Chicks: Endearing, coming-of-age romances with lashings of adventure and a hint of spicy danger. Set in 70's Britain, they provide an immersive experience of growing up in a world without mobile phones and computers, but with the best soundtrack everrr!
#1 Tina's Torment - Ugly Duckling
#2 Chloe's Chaos - Goldilocks
#3 Linda's Lament - Reluctant Rock Star
#4 Helen's Hazard - coming in 2025
The first book in the series is Tina’s Torment – here’s a little more about it.
Would you tell your best friend?
On Chloe’s hen night, Tina has a dilemma: does she reveal what a rat her fiancĂ© is and ruin what should be her happiest day ever? Or stay schtum and let him ruin Chloe’s life?
Best friends since juniors, their bond is threatened when they meet two cousins. Built like a Greek God, Justin is every girl’s heart-throb, but both Tina and Danny suffer his cruelty. High school turns Tina from a frumpy swot into a svelte high-achiever, but revenge is sweet when her inner disco diva attracts Justin’s attention – and Chloe's jealousy.
Tina’s hard work brings rewards as a blast from the past reappears with a mission – to make up for lost time. Being overweight and spotty, Danny never had the courage to stand up to his cousin, but now the girls on the sailing course think he’s a dreamboat. Tina is thrilled as he teaches her far more than how to sail, but his spiteful cousin isn’t done with them.
As college brings new adventures, all four are linked by dark secrets, and danger ensues as the monster seeks his revenge.
She’s All That meets Never Been Kissed with elements of The Duff
This cheeky piece of 70s British nostalgia features no less than three Ugly-duckling transformations, girl-powered escapes from hairy situations, a couple of unlikely heroes and the nastiest of villains. Feel free to boo and hiss.
N.B. A version of this story was previously available (from May 2014-May 2017) as part of a short story anthology called Triple Jeopardy, published under the pen-name Rowanna Green. There are several changes, adding mystery and reinstating all the yummy 70s songs some harsh critic made me take out. Now it's part of a series, you get to spend time with some of the other characters and see the other side of the story.
Calamity Chicks: Endearing, coming-of-age romances with lashings of adventure and a hint of spicy danger. Set in 70's Britain, they provide an immersive experience of growing up in a world without mobile phones and computers, but with the best soundtrack everrr!
#1 Tina's Torment - Ugly Duckling
#2 Chloe's Chaos - Goldilocks
#3 Linda's Lament - Reluctant Rock Star
#4 Helen's Hazard - coming in 2025
The first book in the series is Tina’s Torment – here’s a little more about it.
Would you tell your best friend?
On Chloe’s hen night, Tina has a dilemma: does she reveal what a rat her fiancĂ© is and ruin what should be her happiest day ever? Or stay schtum and let him ruin Chloe’s life?
Best friends since juniors, their bond is threatened when they meet two cousins. Built like a Greek God, Justin is every girl’s heart-throb, but both Tina and Danny suffer his cruelty. High school turns Tina from a frumpy swot into a svelte high-achiever, but revenge is sweet when her inner disco diva attracts Justin’s attention – and Chloe's jealousy.
Tina’s hard work brings rewards as a blast from the past reappears with a mission – to make up for lost time. Being overweight and spotty, Danny never had the courage to stand up to his cousin, but now the girls on the sailing course think he’s a dreamboat. Tina is thrilled as he teaches her far more than how to sail, but his spiteful cousin isn’t done with them.
As college brings new adventures, all four are linked by dark secrets, and danger ensues as the monster seeks his revenge.
She’s All That meets Never Been Kissed with elements of The Duff
This cheeky piece of 70s British nostalgia features no less than three Ugly-duckling transformations, girl-powered escapes from hairy situations, a couple of unlikely heroes and the nastiest of villains. Feel free to boo and hiss.
N.B. A version of this story was previously available (from May 2014-May 2017) as part of a short story anthology called Triple Jeopardy, published under the pen-name Rowanna Green. There are several changes, adding mystery and reinstating all the yummy 70s songs some harsh critic made me take out. Now it's part of a series, you get to spend time with some of the other characters and see the other side of the story.
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