More Medieval Wedding Traditions
The phrase "tying the knot" comes from the ancient tradition of Handfasting when a couple's hands were bound together by a rope, cord or ribbon to signify their bond to each other.
A line often included in church ceremonies, harks back to this tradition: What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Alternatively, several different coloured ribbons can be used, each one being linked to a vow.
| In modern handfasting ceremonies, the ribbons can be as simple or complex as required, and the celebrant works with the couple, exploring all the options to ensure the ritual is as simple or complex as they are comfortable with. |
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Here's the simple vows from Senna and Jarl's Handfasting:
The Archdruid positioned them so their right hands gripped each other’s wrists. He bade them gaze into each other’s eyes as he wrapped the cord around her hand and Jarl’s forearms.
He addressed each in turn with the age-old questions. “Senna. Will you share in Jarl’s pain and burdens, seeking to alleviate them?”
She smiled deep into Jarl’s eyes. “I will.”
“Jarl. Will you share in Senna’s pain and burdens, seeking to alleviate them?”
“I will.” He copied her loving gaze.
“And so the first binding is made. “As he spoke, the Archdruid tied a knot, then crossed the two ends of the cord over and under their clasped arms.
At the next question, about using the heat of anger to temper the strength of the union, Jarl’s eyes flicked downward for an instant before he matched her steady gaze and unwavering answer.
The Archdruid completed the second knot.
Subsequent questions became easier as he asked them to share in each other’s laughter, looking for the brightness and positive. On the fourth knot, they promised to share in each other’s dreams so their spirits might grow in the marriage.
The final knot bound Jarl’s hand to her arm as they agreed to honour each other as equals in the union.
The Archdruid entreated the elements and deities to bless these hands in their quest to nurture and support each other. He smiled at the couple. “I now invite you to commit your vows and seal them with an exchange of rings, whose perfect circle represents eternity.”
Senna vowed to listen without judging, speak with kindness and forgive whenever necessary.
Jarl promised to honour, cherish and respect her.
Her second vow had taken a while to get right, and she hoped he understood her meaning. “Jarl. I will always accord you with the same level of honesty, trust and gentleness I demand from myself.”
A spark in his eyes said he’d recognised her unwillingness to apportion blame about the trust issues which prevented them from coming together sooner. He squeezed her arm subtly as he vowed to be generous with his time, affection and understanding.
“Jarl. I promise to love, support and care for you for the rest of our days.” Senna took the ring Cora offered, pushing when it stuck at his knuckle.
As they’d discussed, Jarl pledged the same, adding, “no matter what life may throw at us.” He fumbled with the ring Alfun offered, nearly dropping it. His hand warmed hers as he slipped it easily on her cold finger. Then he defied tradition, kissing her hand to delighted chuckles.
And the more complex ones from Senna and Lyran's Handfasting:
Yellow cord (air) - the element of air brings with it the communication, enthusiasm and spontaneity the couple would need to strengthen the equality of their union. They both agreed to speak with kindness and good humour, and to treat each other as equals in the union.
Red cord (fire) - the fire not only brings passion but courage, strength and occasionally anger. “Lyran, will you honour Senna with a bright, passionate love which is slow to anger?”
“I will.” Lyran’s eyes sparkled with fun.
Green cord (earth) - Alfun spoke of nurturing the tender sapling of their wedding with trust and honesty before he asked them to cherish and support each other.
Purple cord (divinity) - representing wisdom, peace and harmony. In turn, they each vowed to listen without judging and forgive easily.
Pink cord (love) - "This is the final, and possibly the most important binding, as it represents three things every person would require, in or out of wedlock. They are health, wealth & happiness.” Draping the cord over all the others, he addressed them together. “Lyran and Senna, will you promise to love without boundaries and share each other’s pain and burdens for the rest of your lives?”
“We will.” They answered simultaneously as he tied the final knot. “May these hands be blessed this day, and may they build a relationship founded in love, and rich in caring. Neither these cords, nor their knots form the bond of marriage; this is created by the vows you exchange.”
1: Him: to be generous with his time, affection and understanding, and slow to find fault.
Her: to be sparing in criticism, and generous in praise for things well done.
2: Him: to regard her with the deepest respect and use the heat of anger to temper the strength of the union
Her: to accept all weaknesses and frailties with understanding and consideration.
3: Him: to always share in her laughter and bring out the very best in her.
Her: promise to look for the brightness and positive in every situation and always to inspire and encourage him.
To find out more, you can read "3 Handfastings and a Burial" for free on Kindle Unlimited.
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