Wedding Party Roles

Attendants of the Happy Couple

Ancient Roman law required 10 witnesses to be present at a wedding, which is considered a precursor to the bridal party tradition. Traditionally, in many countries, bridesmaids and groomsmen had to dress just like the bride and groom to confuse vengeful spirit presences (or real-life jealous suitors) who might try to harm the newlyweds.

Another origin story for the bridesmaid tradition is Biblical: When Jacob married Leah and Rachel, each brought her own “maid,” but these were personal servants who tended to the bride's every need. The bride was often accompanied by a child meant to symbolize a fruitful union. Flower petals tossed in the bride’s pathway were representative of the way to a beautiful future.

In a time in which “marriage by capture” was practiced, close friends of the groom would assist him in taking the bride from her family. They’d form a small army to fight off angry relatives so that he could escape with her. In some early traditions, the groomsmen were called Bride’s Knights, because they helped protect her—and her dowry, and her virginity—or because they assisted in her kidnapping.

Bridesmaids of the past also used to walk down the aisle with aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs, and grains to drive evil spirits away (and to help make things smell nice). Being a bridesmaid was considered a good way to procure a husband. In the 16th century, if you had served as bridesmaid three times without getting married yourself, it was believed that evil spirits had cursed you. To break the spell, you’d have to be a bridesmaid four more times, for a total of seven rounds on the wedding circuit.

In early Victorian times, tradition called for all-white weddings, so bridesmaids—who were supposed to be younger than the bride—wore white dresses with short veils, contrasting with the bride’s more ornate veil and train. By the 20th century, this had fallen out of favor, and the bride alone wore white to better stand out. Victorian bridesmaids were tasked with making party favors out of things like ribbons and flowers and pinning them onto the sleeves and shoulders of guests as they left the ceremony.

Historically, no person of status went out unattended, and the size of the retinue was closely calculated to be appropriate to the family's social status. A large group of bridesmaids/groomsmen provided an opportunity for showing off the family's social status and wealth.

Nowadays, the number of bridesmaids in a wedding party is dependent on many variables, including a bride's preferences, the size of her family, and the number of (family) attendants her partner would like to have as well.

The male equivalent of a bridesmaid is the groomsman, known in the UK as an usher from one of the original functions, that of escorting guests to their seats.

In some cultures, particularly in Europe, one (or more) of the bridesmaids can be a small girl, frequently carrying flowers during the wedding procession and known as a flower girl.

Parents of the Bride/Groom
Father of the bride: The Anglo-Saxon word "wedd" means a pledge or vow. This could refer to the groom vowing to marry the woman, or the barter money or trade agreement with the bride's father for his daughter. The bride's father would setup a contract with the groom, involving land, social status, or political reputation. A female child in those days was known to be property of her father and so the transferring of "ownership" to her groom on her wedding day was a legality. The tradition of "giving away" signifies that the bride's family no longer had control over her or her possessions (dowry) and her husband would take on the responsibilities and obligations her father once boasted. The tradition of taking his hand and placing the groom's on the bride's is symbolic of the "passing" of his property or duty.

Nowadays, the most common functions of the bride's father are to accompany his daughter to the church, lead her down the aisle where he "gives her away." He often gives some manner of speech thanking people for attending and toasting the bride and groom. In many weddings, he will dance with his daughter, and it is still traditional for the bride's parents to pay for the reception, if not the whole thing.

Mother of the bride: Historically, the bride's mother planned most of the wedding, organising the church, reception, catering, guests and accommodation for out-of-towners. Nowadays, many couples take care of it themselves, or engage a wedding planner. Great emphasis is placed on the emphasis of the mother's outfit, usually including a hat (or fascinator), and most mums will coordinate with the grooms mother to ensure their outfits do not clash or - horror of horrors - are identical.

Mother of the groom: There's a not-so-nice traditional saying about what the mother of the groom is supposed to do: show up, shut up, and wear beige. For most people, that saying is not true and there are some distinct responsibilities of most mothers of the groom, such as supplying a list of the groom's relatives, paying for certain events like the rehearsal dinner and, if he is keen, dancing with her son.


For more details about the history and roles of the wedding party, there are some great websites and books - I recommend you try:
https://mentalfloss.com/article/57821/21-historical-roles-and-responsibilities-wedding-party
https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/bridesmaids-groomsmen-history

https://www.thespruce.com/wedding-and-father-of-the-bride-1270128

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